we sat on a bench
on the roof terrace garden
of a flat we would never own
in a part of london that probably couldn't exist
you turned to me
with eyes glassy calm
like the surface of an ominous pond
slowly stagnating - suicide by it's own stillness
you explained it all
saying there was no love left
and you couldn't believe i hadn't noticed
how you never returned my embrace any more
yes, you explained it all
away
reciting a script
clearly honed and considered
rehearsed and redrafted
planned and perfected and plotted and passionless
you weren't sorry
you weren't going to change your mind
you weren't ever coming back
everything was packed
i didn't see you leave through the tears
flooding my vision with vaseline soft-foucs
i didn't hear you leave through the sobbing
but i knew you were gone
i woke breathless and panicked and confused to find no tears
i turned to check your presence and i held you very near
but too afraid to tell you that i'd dreamed my greatest fear
and trying not to wake you i just whispered in your ear
i love you
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