what she has

she has one devil horn
        and one angel wing
she has one unicorn
        mane knit into a string
she has one slice of bread
        and one jar of peanut butter
she has one cigarette
        and one cigar cutter
she has one mermaid gill
        and one bluish ring of zinc
she has one phoenix quill
        and one vial of blue-blood ink
she has one bar of soap
        and one surgeon's snare
she has one ray of hope
        and one cloud of despair
she has one sod of peat
        with the footprint of a boot on
she has one tiny sheet
        from a swedish faerie's futon
she has one small wooden casket
        where all of these reside
she has one unending task it
        is to never look inside

after you

you cried
     then you slept
i cried
     while you slept

just writing this scared me

i've never spoken most of what i feel
because i'm terrified of brain drugs
i've learnt to fake an evenness of keel
because i'm terrified of brain drugs
my gp's on a uni campus 200 miles away
and i've not been there since registration day
because i'm terrified of brain drugs

although there's stigma i am not ashamed
i'm just terrified of brain drugs
i'm not protecting someone who i blame
i'm just terrified of brain drugs
there are people i love too much to want to see distressed
but that's not the the reason there's so much i can't confess
i'm just terrified of brain drugs

i don't know how much brain they might adjust
that's why i'm terrified of brain drugs
i couldn't muster that level of trust
that's why i'm terrified of brain drugs
i wouldn't part with the hardest of the feelings that i feel
if i had to trade the certainty that who i am is real
that's why i'm terrified of brain drugs